


The most dangerous thing

by Rucbar12



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Depressed Tony Stark, Hurt Tony Stark, Songfic, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27258208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rucbar12/pseuds/Rucbar12
Summary: Tony Stark lost the kid.Tony Stark is on the roof, and it would be so easy to see Peter again.Based off of Achilles Come Down byGand of Youths
Kudos: 19





	The most dangerous thing

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first, and likely my last fic. I am by no means a writer; this song just makes so much sense to me as being related to Tony Stark and SOMEONE had to write it. If you like the idea feel free to write this, I need a fic like this in my life.

Tony didn't remember how he got on the roof.

Well that wasn't quite true- he knew why he was here. He lost the kid. He lost his kid.

He hadn't been sober since Titan. He knew Pepper and Rhodey were worried- he even caught a few concerned glances from Steve. He didn't care. They didn't lose Peter.

No, Tony knew why he was there. He just never expected to be so close.

The fact that he was up there at all made him want to jump all the more. Underoos would hate it. The thought of what Peter would think filled him up with renewed guilt and self hatred. He would say some sappy encouragement along the lines of "you'll get better"; he wouldn't understand why Tony was so devastated by his loss. No, Peter would hate this. He would tell Tony to get down.

Tony tried to listen to that voice. Tried to think of how heartbroken Rhodey would be- after all they'd been through, this would be a cruel end. Tried to think of Pepper- she was strong; she would get through it. But could he put her through that after everything else? He supposed one last heartbreak would be okay.

He tried so hard to listen to the voices of the people he loved. They'd want him to get down. But how could he? Was there a reason to continue like this?

No, it was much easier to give in. To listen to the voice of his father, always encouraging him to take that step. He knew what Daddy Dearest would say: 

"Jump. You might as well; I always knew you would be too weak. You're an impulsive ass who thinks he is a god. But you know you're not worth it. Always surrounded by girls and press, but none of them ever loved you, did they Anthony? You're just an act; so desperate for love you will do anything to get it. Just end it all now."

Tony shut his eyes against the words. He knew this was just the booze speaking. He knew it wasn't true. But it was so hard to fight it.

Then he remembered his kids. The one who was gone and the one who was yet to come. He didn't see a point in moving without Peter, but he would not abandon Morgan. He couldn't ruin her like this. She deserved more- more than he could ever give, but at least he could try.

He took a deep breath. He could do this. He could fight a little bit longer.

….. But wasn't he opening himself up again to be hurt? Loving someone has always been what got him into messes- first with losing Pepper, than Cap, and now Peter. What happened if he hurt Morgan? If he lost her too? It was just so dangerous for him to love, could he take another loss? 

"All you want is fame and love. Be real and just jump, you dense motherfucker"

He had to fight. She was more important than this wasteful end.

"You will not be more than a rat in a gutter"

He WAS more than a rat- he had people who loved him. They needed him, for whatever reason. He couldn't give up on that. 

"You want my opinion, my opinion you've got. You asked for my council, I gave you my thoughts"

He was so tired of listening to this. So tired of listening to his father's abuse, to the thought that put him up here in the first place. He didn't ask for them, and he was done listening.

"Be done with this now and jump off the roof!"

That was it. Tony wouldn't waste another second listening to the ghost of his father. Wouldn't waste another second drowning himself in hope of forgetting. 

Tony lost the kid.

Tony didn't know how to live without him.

But there wasn't a choice.


End file.
